Our updated standings (last week, overall):
Chuck Visor: 4-4, 32-21
Drake McHugh, Esq.: 5-3, 28-25
Max Power: 5-3, 27-17
Brocktoon: 3-5, 26-27
Carter Slade: 6-2, 23-19
Woody Widenhoefer: 1-6, 22-18
Full Monte Kiffin: 5-3, 21-22
Dick C'est Bon: 0-0, 14-12
Arnold Porkzenegger: 0-0, 3-4
Herschel Talker: 0-0, 0-1
Tubby-bowl ‘09:
Ole Miss (-4.5) at Auburn, 11:21 AM, SEC Network:
In this match-up of Tommy Tuberville’s two former teams, I agree with Max. It’ll be a “Navy Nightmare,” but for the team in Burnt Orange and Navy Blue, not the team in Harvard Crimson and Yale Navy. In fact, the description of the game as a nightmare is appropriate since, given the performance against Arkansas with the 11:21 start, it is unlikely Auburn will be awake. This year’s coach drama is a bit different. Instead of Rebs angry at Tommy “Pine Box” Tuberville for leaving them, Ole Miss’ Nutt is mad at Auburn’s Malzahn for creating division in the program at Arkansas, and Malzahn is mad for being fired by Nutt. Last week I said Auburn would have a chance against LSU if Todd played well. I said there was no reason for Todd to play well against LSU’s defense. Just replay that comment this week, as Ole Miss’ front 7 is as good as it gets. Ole Miss wins and covers.
The Game Formerly Known as the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party:
Florida (-14.5) vs. Georgia, 2:30 PM, CBS:
If you ask me, it’s tough to call anything that starts at 3:30 local time a cocktail party, but here it is. Call me crazy, but I think the Dawg’s have a chance to win this one. I certainly don’t like a UF team that struggled against Arkansas and Mississippi State as a two-touchdown plus favorite. I’ll Hunker down with the points.
Must be Homecoming:
Eastern Michigan (+36.5) at Arkansas, 6:00 PM, ESPNU:
Can’t remember which of the Michigan directional schools is good and which is bad? The Western Michigan Broncos are OK, 4-4, 3-2 in the MAC. The Central Michigan Chippewas are good. They’re 7-1 with their only loss to Arizona. They beat Michigan State and are undefeated in the MAC and lead their division. The team that the Hogs will play, the Eastern Michigan Eagles, is bad. As in, 0-7 with losses to Army, Temple, Kent State and Ball State bad. This is a big line, but I’ll take the Hogs to cover.
Questionable Rivalry Game I:
Mississippi State (+3.5) at Kentucky, 6:00 PM, FSS:
Since the league split into divisions in 1992, and started the one-permanent cross-division rival schedule in 2003, MSU and UK have played every year. I suppose there’s some deep tradition of rivalry between these teams of which I am unaware (checking Wikipedia, nope). These teams have only played 36 times, with UK holding a slight edge 20-16. Anyway, this is a flip-a-coin game. I’ll take MSU only because it comes with 3.5 extra points.
ESSS EEE SEEEEE RULEZ!!11!:Georgia Tech (-11.5) at Vanderbilt, 6:30 PM:
As an SEC homer, normally I’d have to take the SEC team over any SEC opponent. However, this is Vandy and Ga Tech. The Jackets already beat MSU, who beat Vandy, (also Ga Tech beat Va Tech, who lost to Bama, whow beat Ole Miss who beat Vandy) so by transitive property Ga Tech is clearly the better team. I know Vandy beat BC in a bowl last year, but they also lost to Wake Forest and Duke last year. BEEEEEESSSSSSS RULE !!!11!!
Mouths of the South:
South Carolina (+6) at Tennessee, 6:45 PM, ESPN:
I thought this game would have lost some luster with the departure of Phil Fulmer. After all, it was kind of fun to see Spurrier scrap and sometimes barely beat the Coach and team he had tormented and dominated when he was at UF. Well, in comes Kiffin and whoa, Nelly, has this guy got a mouth that can match the OBC’s. Locker-room bulletin board fodder this week: Kiffin allegedly told SC’s leading wide receiver Alshon Jeffrey that if he went to SC he’d end up pumping gas for a living. Both QBs are spotty, so whether Garcia or Crompton has the better game will determine who wins. If I were picking this straight up I’d likely take Tennessee since the game’s on Rocky Top, and unfortunately, it looks like Jeffrey has the flu. But I believe SC’s D is for real, so I’ll take them plus the points.
Questionable Rivalry Game II:
Tulane (+36) at LSU, 7:00 PM: