Picks - Week 6

CBS has a double-header this weekend. They've got Bama at Ole Miss at 2:30, then UF at LSU at 7:00. Rather than put up competing SEC fare opposite the "Will Tebow play?" drama, the WWL has displaced its usual morning Big Televen and ACC snoozers and put the other SEC matchups on its family of networks in the a.m. I was worried I'd have to listen to Pam Ward's voice Saturday, but then I realized that if she were to be sighted in the greater Fayettenam area around game time, Hognation would do what had to be done.

First, our records so far (last week and for the season):

Chuck Visor: 5-4, 18-11
Max Power: 6-3, 16-13
Dick C'est Bon: 7-2, 14-12
Drake McHugh, Esq.: 6-3, 14-15
Brocktoon: 6-3, 13-16
Woody Widenhoefer: 6-3, 12-6
Carter Slade: 6-3, 9-9
Full Monte Kiffin: 6-3, 8-11
Arnold Porkzenegger: 0-0, 3-4
Herschel Talker: 0-1, 0-1

And now, my picks (leave yours in the comments):

Vanderbilt (-10.5) at Army (CBS College Sports 12 p.m. ET) - Vandy should NEVER be a two-score favorite over ANYBODY. If Vandy was playing American football against my son's U4 soccer team, you'd only have to spot the toddlers about 9 points to give them a sporting chance. Actual quote from Drake Jr. to his soccer coach last night: "Coach, I just tooted and burped at the same time." I don't think Vandy can stop that kind of "explosive" play from its opponents, even if only 3-feet tall. The U.S. Military Academy at West Point is not Homewood U4 Soccer. Vandy wins but does not cover.

Auburn (-2.5) at Arkansas (ESPN 12 p.m. ET) - Fayetteville is a tough place to play and Arky always seems to have Aub's number. But that was under the Tuberville era. Speaking of Coach Ears, I heard him on a local sportstalk show predict the Tigers by 3 TDs because "Arkansas can't stop a cold." I think the phrase is CATCH a cold. Even modern medicine can't STOP a cold. Go to your doctor with a cold virus. He will be able to do nothing for you. Tubs' former D-coord beats his former O-coord by 4. Tubs remains unemployed.

Georgia (+1.5) at Tennessee (SEC Network 12:21 p.m. ET) - OK, I agree UGA ain't very good, but UT is Gawd Awful. How in the heck are the Vols favored in this game? Each teamshas exactly one good offensive player: AJ Greene for the Dawgs and Montario Hardesty for UT. So toothless is the Big Orange passing game that UGA can stop Montario Hardesty by putting 11 men in the box if they have to. Remember when the UT-UGA game used to matter? Georgia pulls it out in a close one, because Joe Cox is better than Jonathan Crompton.

Mississippi State (-2) vs. Houston (ESPNU 12:30 p.m. ET) If you'd asked me last week I'd have confidently picked Houston. Then the Cougs went and inexplicably lost 58-41 to UTEP. Yes, the team coached by Destiny Boudreaux's former client Mike Price. UH still scored 41 points and piled up 42 first downs and 664 yards (you read that right) of offense in the loss. I don't think MSU can outscore this offense. I still pick Houston. But I wouldn't bet "one of everything" on it.

Kentucky (+9.5) at South Carolina (FS South 12:30 p.m. ET) The Gamecocks are usually good for at least one inexplicable loss a year. Kentucky showed against Bama they can play with anyone for about 27 minutes. I predict a close game up through the 4th quarter, when Sakerlina pulls ahead. Gamecocks win but do not cover.

Alabama (-4.5) at Ole Miss (CBS 3:30 p.m. ET) - The line started at Bama by a TD, but has come down a bit over the week. I really feel like this game might get out of hand for Ole Miss early. But, I do think this game is (and has been since January) viewed as something of a one game season for the Rebs. Nutt will pull out all the stops, and if Jevan Snead suddenly reverts to the QB from the end of last season, then they'll have a chance. I just don't think it'll happen. Bama wins and covers.

Florida (-7.5) at LSU CBS 8 p.m. ET (7 p.m. CT) - The question everyone across America is asking: How does Les Miles keep his hats so sparkly white? It'll take more tricks than just the magic of Clorox bleach for LSU to overcome the Gators even if Tebow doesn't play. Fortunately for the Geaux Tigers, Death Valley at night creates magic for the home team (mostly voodoo). Even if Tebow had never met Taylor Wyndham in dramatic fashion in Commonwealth Stadium, I'd have given the Tigers a chance to win this one. The uncertainty of the current situation has got to be a distraction for the Gators. Since you're giving me 7.5 points, I'll pick LSU to at least beat the spread.

Wisconsin (+16) at Ohio State - A 16 point spread seems a little high to me. Wisky is undefeated on the year. Striped rodents cover against the tree nuts.

Georgia Tech (+3) at Florida State - The normal ACC rule is pick against the hot teams and pick the cold teams.* They don't get much colder than FSU, having lost to South Florida and Boston College the last 2 weeks. And the Jackets are 4-1 coming off back-to-back wins over UNC and MSU. The Rule says bet FSU big. And FSU even has a big, inexplicable road win over BYU to make you think they've got it in them. However, the FSU program is approaching North Korean levels of dysfunction (a despotic, out-of-touch leader who keeps trying to set up his sons as heirs-apparent). Tech wins and covers. Bobby Bowden is deposed and tried for war crimes.

* Va Tech struggled a bit against Duke, BC beat FSU: take the Hoakies -13.5
Duke covered against VT, UNC lost to UVA (I know, crazy, right?): take UNC -15.5
UVA won a game last week and suddenly they're favored over a 3-2 Indiana team that played Michigan to the wire. Bet the mortgage on Indiana +7.