Friday, November 6, 2009

Picks - Week 10

Picks – The who-the-heck-knows edition.

First, the updated standings (last week, overall):

Chuck Visor: 5-2, 37-23

Drake McHugh, Esq.: 2-5, 30-30

Max Power: 2-5, 29-22

Brocktoon: 2-5, 28-32

Full Monte Kiffin: 4-3, 25-25

Carter Slade: 0-0, 23-19

Woody Widenhoefer: 0-0, 22-18

Dick C'est Bon: 0-0, 14-12

Arnold Porkzenegger: 0-0, 3-4

Herschel Talker: 0-0, 0-1

Since my pick record is pretty bad, I’ve decided my picks can’t be any worse in the games this week, where I know nothing about some of the teams and don’t even know who I expect to win in others, much less who might cover the spread. Here goes.

LSU (+7.5) at Alabama (3:30 p.m. / CBS ) – Since I think either team has a chance to win, the obvious pick would be LSWHo and the points, right? However, I have a feeling, based on nothing concrete or factual, that Bama is tired of all the criticism of their inept red zone offense and general inability to separate themselves as a truly elite team. Therefore, I think they will come out after their off-week loaded for bear (or tiger as the case may be) and put up some points. Also, have we forgotten that just 3 weeks ago the conventional wisom was LSU was overrated? LSWho? Exactly. Bama wins and covers.

Vanderbilt (+35) at Florida (7:15 p.m. / ESPN or ESPN2) – OK, here I know I’m picking UF to win, but by more than 35? I got burned last week thinking the Gators were showing a lack of offense that might hurt them against the Dawgs. Unfortunately, the Dawgs lack both offense AND defense (and special teams?) Vandy scored a bunch against Ga Tech last week, but Ga Tech has no defense. How can I not pick the eye-gouginest, referee-criticizinest team in the land to cover against Vandy. Gators cover.

SC (+7) at Arkansas (12:21 p.m. / SEC Network) – These match-ups of two middling teams are always tough to pick. I could see an Arky blowout a la the Arky-AU game, or I could see a close SC win a la the SC-Ole Miss game. Has Arkansas won a close game all year? Has SC won any game that wasn’t close? I think SC’s defense keeps them in it and they have a chance to win it at the end. SC plus the points.

Memphis (+22.5) at Tennessee (7 p.m. / ESPNU) Is Memphis really that bad? Seriously, I couldn’t tell you anything about the Tigers football team this year. What’s their record, who have they played, are they in C-USA? I have no idea. I know Tennessee, and I know they’ve only beaten one team by more than 22 – UGA 45-19. They did beat SC by 18 last week, but they only beat Ohio by 11. UT’s playing better of late, so I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say they cover tomorrow.

Well, well. Everyone’s picking accuracy is about to go up because the following games against I-AA cupcakes have no line:

N. Arizona at Ole Miss (7:30 p.m. / CSS) – Quick, name N. Arizona’s mascot. I thought so. Forward Rebels! You’re gonna be bowl eligible!

Tennessee Tech at UGA (1 p.m. / UGA PPV) – I think former UAB coach and Texas coach Mac Brown’s brother Watson Brown coaches at Tenn Tech. Finally, a team Georgia’s staff is capable of out-coaching. Hunker down, dawgs!

E. Kentucky at UK (1 p.m. / Local Coverage) – These aren’t the Hilltoppers, right? That’s W. Kentucky. Who’s E. Kentucky? Go wildcats! (Unless that’s also EKU’s mascot.)

Furman at Auburn (1:30 p.m. / AU PPV) – Furman is in South Carolina and in the same league as Samford. Their mascot is the Paladins. War Eagle!
Bonus picks:

Navy (+12.5) at Notre Dame – I know exactly 3 things about the Navy football team: (1) they nearly beat Ohio State in the season opener; (2) they won a game last week without attempting a forward pass; (3) Hoover High alumnus Jared Bryant played there. With absolutely no basis for doing so, I’ll take the Midshipman and the points.

Ohio State (+5) at Penn State – I believe both teams would lose if the laws of physics allowed it. For games like this they should suspend the overtime rules and just let the game end in a 5-5 tie. And the teams should wear leather helmets and striped rugby shirts. Also, can someone tell me why the Nittany Lions play in beaver stadium? Wouldn’t it be great if SC played a game in “Happy Valley”? OK, gun to my head I don’t think Penn State can win by more than 5, there.


  1. LSU (+7.5) at Alabama (3:30 p.m. / CBS ) – Given the fact that I hate the Bammeroids, I'll take LSU and the points

    Vanderbilt (+35) at Florida (7:15 p.m. / ESPN or ESPN2) – I guess I'll go with Vandy to cover. The jorts will win but Vandy can't be that bad...can they?

    SC (+7) at Arkansas (12:21 p.m. / SEC Network) – I'll take SC to cover

    Memphis (+22.5) at Tennessee (7 p.m. / ESPNU): I'll take the vols to win and cover. Kiffin is pushing for a big win to help with recruiting in the Memphis area.

    N. Arizona at Ole Miss (7:30 p.m. / CSS) – ole miss

    Tennessee Tech at UGA (1 p.m. / UGA PPV) – bulldogs

    E. Kentucky at UK (1 p.m. / Local Coverage) – UKY

    Furman at Auburn (1:30 p.m. / AU PPV) – war eagle

    Bonus picks:

    Navy (+12.5) at Notre Dame – Ill take navy to cover and hopefully win. Charlie Weis is a fat tub of lard.

    Ohio State (+5) at Penn State – I'll go with PSU

  2. SEC N00Bs: South Carolina (+7) at Arkansas - 12:21 pm ET, ESPN 360 - So it's been 18 years, but they are the most recent additions. Arkansas lately has shown they are better than their 4-4 record (OK, not that much), but South Carolina has shown that they are much worse. Give Arkansas the home field, give them the win. I'll take Arkansas to cover.

    Gimme Game #1: Tennessee Tech (Off) at Georgia - 1:00 pm ET, ESPN 360 - Guess who has the better record, though? I guess they'll be the same after this week. Bulldogs FTW!

    Gimme Game #2: Eastern Kentucky (Off) at Kentucky - 1:00 pm ET, ESPN 360 - Guess who has the better record here too? Ditto. Wildcats win.

    Gimme Game #3: Furman (Off) at Auburn - 1:30 pm ET, ESPN 360 - Surprisingly, the line at puts Furman as the favorite by 7. That has to be a mistake. Tigers roll.

    The Only Competitive SEC Game This Week: LSU (+7.5) at Alabama - 3:30 pm ET, CBS - For both of these teams, it really depends on which team shows up. LSU is on the upward trend while Alabama seems to be on the downward trend. I think Alabama wins, but I'll take LSU with the points. BONUS LINE: 0.5 over/under on how many humans Mount Cody will absorb into himself. I say over.

    Both Ends of the State Game: Memphis (+22.5) at Tennessee - 7:00 pm ET, ESPNU - Memphis has 2 wins, one against a I-AA opponent, and Tennessee is riding a high that includes wins over Georgia and South Carolina. Tennessee will definitely win, but 22.5 points seems like a lot. I'll take Memphis with the points.

    Should Be Easy But You Never Know Game: Vanderbilt (+35) at Florida - 7:15 pm ET, ESPN 2 - Vanderbilt has played well this year, but not well enough to win games. Florida has played just well enough to win a couple of games. In the SEC, who knows what to expect. I do think Vanderbilt's offense, by running, wears down the clock, possibly before Florida gets 35. I'll take Vanderbilt and probably regret it on Sunday.

    Gimme Game #4: Northern Arizona (Off) at Mississippi - 7:30 pm ET, ESPN 360 - What is it with all the I-AA teams this week? NAU definitely has the best mascot (Lumberjacks). Are there a lot of trees in Arizona? I thought it was all desert. Mississippi takes the win and becomes bowl eligible.

    Bonus Pick #1: Navy (+12.5) at Notre Dame - 2:30 pm ET, NBC (where else?) - Navy is much better than advertised. Already bowl eligible, with as many wins as Notre Dame. Their three losses (Ohio State, Pittsburgh, Temple (eek!)) are by a combined 20 points. Factor in the big rivalry and you have a Navy upset (well, by the line anyway). Navy with the points.

    Bonus Pick #2: Ohio State (+5) at Penn State - 3:30 pm ET, ABC - This one is tough. Penn State's defense is stifling, giving up 84 points in 9 games this season. Ohio State isn't too shabby either, giving up 105 points in 9 as well. Ohio State does have three shutouts this year, but they won't add to that number. However, they'll play well, coming up short by a field goal. Take Ohio State plus the points.

  3. LSU (+7.5) at Alabama (3:30 p.m. / CBS ) – Tide wins and covers. (But, I hope not.)

    Vanderbilt (+35) at Florida (7:15 p.m. / ESPN or ESPN2) – Florida covers easily.

    SC (+7) at Arkansas (12:21 p.m. / SEC Network) – Tough call. I am surprised SC is favored by that much in this one. I would love to see SC win this one, but I think the Hogs come out wanting to prove something. Hogs win.

    Memphis (+22.5) at Tennessee (7 p.m. / ESPNU) Vols kill Tiger High by at least 30.

    Well, well. Everyone’s picking accuracy is about to go up because the following games against I-AA cupcakes have no line:

    N. Arizona at Ole Miss (7:30 p.m. / CSS) – Rebels win against the Lumberjacks, but still need to beat UT, LSU or State to be bowl eligible. (Can't count 2 1-AA teams toward bowl eligibility.)

    Tennessee Tech at UGA (1 p.m. / UGA PPV) – Dawgs win big.

    E. Kentucky at UK (1 p.m. / Local Coverage) – UK in a blowout.

    Furman at Auburn (1:30 p.m. / AU PPV) – Auburn also sleepwalks through their cupcake game.

    Bonus picks:

    Navy (+12.5) at Notre Dame – Cher, cheer for ol' Notre Dame... Irish win, but not by 12.5.

    Ohio State (+5) at Penn State – Penn State wins and covers.